School Daze

It's school time and as the new academic year arrives this time, I find myself faced with milestones. Samantha started preK-3 and Dominik kindergarten. I can invision putting myself in a stupor if I let my mind overthink how much my little ones have grown. So, in an effort to explain my feelings I have put the first day of school in my viewpoint into this blog.

Thursday August 12, 2009-6:30am

At this time I'm preparing for a long day. I imagine what kind of pep talk I need to give the kids about entering this new school year and how much fun they will have. At the same time I understand that while I'm telling them to be brave I myself have to as well.

7:30am

We arrive to the school and I have camera in tow. The kids are ready to just go inside but I decide to blind them with multiple flashes before they go in to learn. We sign Samantha in and she runs into the classroom barely waving goodbye. I figured she was ready but was impressed with how quickly she adjusted. I call her back to snap a few more pictures and she gives quick hugs and kisses. I thought it would be a good time to give my first pep talk of the day.

Brave mommy: Now, Samantha, remember to go potty and be a good girl. And know that mommy loves you and will miss you

Big girl: Love you BYE!

So, either I'm really good at pep talks or she was ready to be rid of me to go play. Hmmm, well one down and still no tears.

7:50am

We head upstairs with Dominik and his class to get him settled in and to snap a few more pictures. As we reach the classroom I look around (even though we saw it the night before) and everything is screeching out at me like something from the psycho movie REE REE REE!! I'm swarmed with wide eyed parents probably feeling the same as me. Our babies are no longer babies, they are considered elementary students! WHAT?!?! Every cubby, book, and desk cries out the evident knowing that we can't supress our kids any longer. I was waiting for someone to yell out in anguish but it never happened.

7:55am

With my mentality back on track, I prepare to say goodbye to my kindergartener. I kneel down as he is already in his desk reading waiting for his first class to start at 8am. I tell him my pep talk:

Brave mommy: You are my special boy and I'm so proud of you! You will learn so many new and wonderful things to share with us and I'm so excited for you! Mommy will miss you and I love you!

Big boy: Okay mommy. Love you.

I must be really good at the pep talks now! I get up to leave and Dominik calls me back for "one more hug" in which he explains that he's scared and wants me to stay. I tell him while holding back tears that he will have a blast. I wonder if he even believes me at this point. I walk away and turn to wave looking into the face of my firstborn who only a short 5 years ago was my only at home companion. I can still see his face as it was when he was a baby. That little 5 year old face that everyone looks at and can only see a big boy, I look at and see the first little guy who made me a mommy.

I somehow make it out of the school in a daze with no tears but a new perspective on how fast these times really go. And no matter how many times people warn you about it, you just have to experience it for yourself. I also realize I made it through the first morning of school and hope that in the many more "first mornings" for school we share, they stay braver than me.